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In The Closet

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Many cross dressers spend their whole life \'in the closet\'. We look at the reasons for this, and the effect this can have on their lives.

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A significant number of cross dressers spend their whole life 'in the closet'. At a time when gender boundaries and roles are openly discussed and explored, what is it that keeps a person in the closet?

The most commonly cited reasons include social, family and financial factors. Sometimes the fear of a person's world crumbling around them is enough to keep one from coming out.

One factor that many fail to consider is that in addition to having a female persona, cross dressers also have a strong male identity. Is it possible that by coming out, an individual's masculinity could be compromised? Most would agree that every person has the right to find the right balance between their masculine and feminine identity. And if by remaining in the closet someone can have a more fulfilled existence, then why should it pose a problem?

The act of dressing brings a great deal of pleasure and excitement to the lives of cross dressers. In fact, some say that without this, they are incomplete. However, at the same time the fear of being discovered can cause as much pain and anguish. If allowed to continue, this fear can significantly reduce one's confidence and self-worth, even to the level that coming out becomes impossible. Whether coming out is an option or not, Gender Therapists advise that attempts should be made to overcome this fear.

Another issue that is common amongst closeted cross dressers is the act of 'purging', which stems from feelings of guilt. Every now and again, cross dressers will throw away their entire female wardrobes and lock their feelings up inside. Although very common, this is an unhealthy coping mechanism. The only way it can really be conquered is by developing those feelings of guilt and denial surrounding the transgender identity into positive thoughts feelings. Although this may seem like a difficult task, it is possible and should certainly be explored.

Of course, there are many cross dressers who really want to come out and are just looking for the encouragement and confidence to make it a reality. For them, coming out of the closet signifies freedom. It is not uncommon for cross dressers to wait until a certain stage in their lives - for example, once the children have left home - before coming out. By doing this, they feel that the impact and potential disruption to the lives of their loved ones will be kept to a minimum.

Although lots of cross dressers have found total freedom and extreme happiness by coming out of the closet, it's also important to remember that some can't. Others can, but don't want to. Surely, it's a matter of personal choice and shouldn't be questioned. It seems wrong to make judgments or frown upon someone who has chosen to live a closeted existence. It doesn't mean they are weak or lack self-respect, it's simply the choice they have made.

There is much support available for cross dressers nowadays and those that choose to remain 'in the closet' need not feel isolated. With the explosion of the internet and social networking, cross dressers are now making friends globally. This help and encouragement is invaluable and will certainly make things much easier for many.

Article Source: Web Design Experts

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